A practice of negotiation
-a chronicle of my brilliant struggle-
Recently, my grandfather has begun to live with our family because he aggravated relations with my grandmother. They had lived together in Matsumoto City, Nagano Prefecture. They have three children. Oldest daughter is my mother, oldest son is my uncle, and second daughter, who is the youngest child, is my aunt. My family, of course including my mother, lives in Funabashi City, Chiba prefecture. Though my uncle and aunt live in Matsumoto, they didn’t want to live with my grandfather, so my family accepted him. He packed up his things and left from Matsumoto, which is the country he loved so much. However, before he arrived at Funabashi, we got to know the truth of this event. Initially, our family was told that it was my grandfather’s guilt to aggravate relations with my grandmother, but it was completely wrong. It was my grandmother’s guilt. Every time our family visiting Matsumoto, it seemed that my grandfather and grandmother was happily married. But it was wrong. My grandmother pretended to be a good couple because she didn’t want us to worry. In fact, my grandmother had disliked her husband from her marriage. She hated all his actions. She couldn't hold out any longer, so she kicked out him.
Initially, we lived without any problems. But a big problem appeared. We have a white cute dog. We let him (our dog) run loose in our house. My grandfather didn’t like dogs. One day my grandfather asked us "Please get the dog on a leash, and never let him run loose in our house". Generally speaking, dogs like to be unconfined and this is good for their health because this prevent them from having less stress. So we answered "Sorry, but this dog is one of our family as well as you". Then he said "No. Please get the dog on a leash if not, I will get out from this house". At the moment I naively understood why my grandmother disliked him. My family wanted grandfather live together happily. We faced conflict. At that time I felt this conflict was a huge wall and wouldn't overcome it.
I came up with idea that we would decide when to let our dog run loose in our house, that is, we would get him on a leash outside that time. My father and mother agreed with this idea. So I told it to my grandfather, that is, I negotiated with him. The answer was OK. He said a word of thanks to me. The negotiation was supposed to succeed. We were supposed to get win-win result.
Everyone in my house believed that everything was going to do well. But a few weeks later my grandfather decided to go back to his own house. He said "Well, I was happy to live with you. A few months I passed here was valuable and something that provoked me. One thing that I've realized about living here is an unanswerable difference in life rhythm between the young and the old. I couldn't adapt in your life rhythm. I knew you cared for me in lots of things, but this problem is something I cannot deal with". He thanked us again and promised us that he would live happily in his old home than ever.
I think what my family did for my grandfather was not wrong. We solved one problem by negotiation, but faced a problem which we couldn't solve with negotiation (probably with any ways). But I don't give up the shoe. From now on I will try to find a good solution for any problems whenever I will go. And with this experience in mind I will definitely solve any problems and conflicts that will challenge me.
